Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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