this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
