I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
