I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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