I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
