Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
