Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize