i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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