After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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