well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
