I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
