so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
