his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
