Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
