Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
