Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
