; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
