My balls are so social today.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
