Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
