She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
