I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
