i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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