I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
