giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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