just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
