Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
