sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
