I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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