Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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