i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
