Sponge bath it is.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
