do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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