The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
