I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
