your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
