dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
