Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
