I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
