I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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