I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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