Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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