I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
