I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
