I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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