Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's just like the Real World with babies
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
