I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize