farters have to be the big spoon...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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