It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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