DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
