I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
