I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
