At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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