The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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