a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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