Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
