Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
