I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize