whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So many bounce houses so little time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
