I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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