I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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