I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
