is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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