Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
